Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize