no, he came in my armpit
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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