If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
