I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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