You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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