Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
