I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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