Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
