Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
These tits shall not be calmed
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