I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
