Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My ass is underappreciated
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
