Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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