Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
