these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
