i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
