sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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