Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
