Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I want a musical about memes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
