The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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