Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
