I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize