I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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