tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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