I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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