beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
should my penis look like a turkey
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
