THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
