so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
