Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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