Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
