You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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