dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
