You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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