she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
