Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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