When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
