Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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