i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
