ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
