so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
