so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
