what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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