tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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