I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
