I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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