i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
