I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
