I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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