Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Be still, my beating vagina.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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