He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
and you fell through a lawn chair
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
