i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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