He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize