Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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