I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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