i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
