Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
