first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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