somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
