He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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