you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
