So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
