The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize