anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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