its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
