you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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