i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The power of my boobs compel you
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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