He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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