How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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