I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
