my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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